“I just wish I could get my shit together.”
During a recent coaching session, a client laughed as he said this and then we both laughed but then we were quiet because it wasn’t only funny. It was also emotional. Organization is an ongoing struggle for him, as it can be for many adults. We might chalk that up to personality traits (they’re chronically late!), neurodivergence (he has ADHD!) or specific circumstances (she just had a baby!) but regardless, the anxious feelings are the same.
Feeling disorganized can lead to all kinds of challenges at work but today I want to introduce a core concept to keep working professionals on track: self-regulation. There are many ways to define self-regulation, but I like this one because it’s so simple:
“Self-regulation means control [of oneself] by oneself.”
Every day at work, adults are asked to accomplish their assignments to a high quality in a timely manner. In order to do that, they must be mentally and physically in balance. If you’re struggling to feel that you have your shit together, try some of these:
- Scan yourself for hunger and thirst. Since we’re often in meetings all day with little time for breaks, folks skip lunch, breakfast and everything in-between. If you’re feeling disregulated, your first check in should be to drink a glass of water and eat a snack.
- Check in on your environment. These are going to seem like silly questions but I promise they’re valid. Are you cold? Is the room stuffy? Might someone be doing construction outside your window? Grab a sweater, turn on a fan, move to another room in your house (or elsewhere) to escape the distractions.
- Stabilize emotions. Overwhelming emotions can send us into really unproductive states at work. If you’re finding yourself frustrated or angry, step away from screens for 15 minutes. Make coffee, step outside, fold some laundry, pet a dog! A little distance from work always helps and sensory changes (smells, feels, tastes) are added bonuses when reseting you and your body.
- Identify what needs to get done. It’s often really overwhelming to recenter yourself and get back to work if you don’t know where to start. My advice is to grab a post-it or open a text file and create a list with two columns: What I am blocking / What is blocked for me. Set a timer for 8 minutes and write out any and all tasks on your mind.
I suggest an 8 minute timer because it’s a strange amount of time and it’s short enough to keep you focused on the task (but of course you’re free to reset it). Once you’ve sketched out a Blocked List, put stars next to what must get done today. When the timer goes off, pick one of the starred items and get to work.
It’s helpful to hear real life examples when it comes to this stuff. In terms of my own self-regulation, here’s what I know about my productivity at work:
- I do best writing blog posts when I have a tall glass of water nearby and am listening to music without lyrics.
- I am often chilly in my basement office so I keep a sweater on my chair.
- When overwhelmed with a huge number of tasks, I identify which MUST be done by the end of the day. (It’s always less than I think).
- I try not to have 9 am meetings on a Monday because I need a minute to get my head in the game.
- I have two main lunch options; one takes 5 minutes to make and one takes 10. I don’t waste time deciding what to eat, I just base it on what my midday schedule looks like!
In my eyes, self-awareness is the most valuable quality for a working adult but self-regulation is a close second. If you’re feeling out of control at work, observing your surroundings and readjusting accordingly can be a great first step.
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